


Thor, Lord of the Goats

by burning_nova



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Goat, Humor, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-06
Updated: 2013-01-06
Packaged: 2017-11-23 21:36:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/626766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burning_nova/pseuds/burning_nova
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So, in both mythology and the comics, Thor has pet goats. In mythology, they draw his chariot around (and he, um, eats them every night and then ressurects them with Mjolnir. That hammer is amazing!) and one of the eddas refer to him as "Lord of the Goats."</p><p>Post-Avengers, Thor is on earth and a bit homesick for Asgard. He absolutely loses his shit when he sees some goats, because he loves goats! Suddenly, the Avengers find themselves detouring to farms and petting zoos so Thor can go see his favorite animals. Does he bring a goat home to live in the tower?</p><p>I just want Thor+cute goats+slightly confused Avengers, basically.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thor, Lord of the Goats

Tony whistled cheerfully as he twirled the leash in his hand. He smiled at Thor who was currently bitting the leg of something. Smelt good though. 

"Hey, buddy. Where's Billy? It's my turn to walk him." Thor put down the leg and swallowed. 

"You wish to walk Sir Billy the Gruff?"

"Yeah, my turn this week. I had to beat off Natasha and that wasn't easy. I'm still testing my coffee for poison." He said. 

"Sir Billy is currently indisposed."

"Send him to Asgard again?" Tony asked annoyed. He really liked that damn goat. Thor looked sheepish and wiped his mouth. Tony's eyes fell to his plate. That hooved toe looked familar. 

"Oh my God!" He yelled horrified. "You ate Billy!" His cries of anguish brought the rest of the Avengers. In full fighting mode. 

"What's the matter?" Steve asked. 

"Thor is eating Billy." He said in faint shock. Everyone stared at the god in surprise and horror. 

"What?" Natasha cried pulling out her gun. 

"Friends, peace." Thor said keeping his hands up. 

"Peace?" Bruce snapped, looking a bit green around the edges. "You killed BIlly! He was out mascot!"

"Yeah, man what the fuck is the matter with you? We got the goat because of you! We grew to love it and you just ate it?" Clint ranted fingers twitching for his bow. "You're just as evil as your brother."

"Loki hates goats." Thor replied, looking offended. 

"So do you it seems. Was the whole Lord of the Goats thing a lie?" Steve cried, tears in his eyes. He had bottled fed Billy when he was just a kid. 

"Nay, please let me move and I will restore Billy to his proper station." For a moment everyone tensed, especially when Thor reached for his hammer. Then Billy was there in less than a blink of an eye, baaing in confusion. They all knew that bah.

It had to be Billy. 

Steve rushed in and took the goat into his arms. Taking him away from Thor Killspetsson. 

Everyone rushed in front of their leader. Acting like the body guards of some weird pet royalty. Tony glared at him. 

"What the fuck was this all about?"

"I do not see the cause of your alarm." Thor said. "I engage with such behavior often with my own goats in Asgard. It is perfectly natural."

"There is nothing natural about eating your pets then reviving them, only to eat them again." Tony said horrified. He felt faint. "I'm calling Pepper. We're getting a lawyer and making sure you never get custody of Billy incase we all die. Even interim custody."

Everyone nodded. Billy baaed in agreement. 

Traitor, thought Thor and he went back to eating.


End file.
